I went to my cousin Melissa’s wedding this weekend in Salem. It was really pretty… but I was pretty upset that both a rabbi and a priest married them and not a witch. Or that the entire wedding wasn’t witch-themed. Come on, people. You pick historic Salem to be the place you get married – you got to incorporate some witches or burning at the stake.
Number 1: I sort of hate saying “congratulations” to people who are getting married… is that what one should say? I think it’s really… offensive. I’m not a feminist (at least I hope not) but I think that’s weird – like saying, “Congratulations – you found someone and now you’re whole!” as if it’s a step… and I get in the church it is another step… birth, marriage, death… but in the real world (not The Real World), it’s different. Some people don’t get married – does that make them any less a person? Not worthy of congratulations? Congratulations on being un-married! I don’t know, maybe that’s just what single people say… but I hate it.
Number 2: I was telling my mom about all the fun that will happen at my wedding – and she doesn’t approve. She likes traditional. I don’t! I want crazy town junction! In fact, I’m going to have all my friends in my wedding and it’s going to be 100% procession and a less than 2 minute ceremony saying, “You’re husband and wife”, and then it’s another procession. Like we’re a royal family.
And, I’ll expect all of you to say congratulations. Cause then… and only then… will I be whole.
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