Ode to 30 Rock.

I have been a Tina Fey fan for quite some time.  Obviously. I remember the first time I laid eyes on her... and yeah, that was supposed to sound that creepy.  Because it was creepy.  It remains to be creepy.  It was the first time I was awed by a woman.  Literally awed.  She was so funny and had such great joke delivery and she worked so well with a handsome-ass Jimmy Fallon.  Then I found out exactly what her role was on the show and all the sketches she was responsible for and her history with comedy, and it all made sense.  She was, and forever will be, my favorite comedian/writer/producer/EVERY WOMAN.  (No offense, Oprah.)

Have I mentioned we share a birthday?  Well, we do. 

Needless to say, I was parked in front of my TV when "30 Rock" aired.  Immediately, I couldn't believe how fast and well-written it was.  I was ASTOUNDED by the jokes per minute on that show.  The stupid, awesome jokes!  Per minute!  But what I loved most of all was the fact that it was honest and based on real life (kind of) and it really drove the whole "write what you know" idea into my head.  It was sweet, ensemble-based and fucking hilarious.  I mean, remember when Tracy was waiting for Jack outside and he saw a pigeon eating a french fry on a trash can and he said, "Stop eating people's old french fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Don't you know you can fly?!" or Kenneth talking to Moonvest over at CBS and he shouted, "GIMME YA FINGERNAILS!" And Jack doing the therapy session for Tracy and playing all of his family members?  AND KENNETH AS A MUPPET ON HD CAMERAS. 

I remember having a conversation with someone one time about how it's so unrealistic and Tina Fey is gorgeous and trying to pretend she's some hideous woman that nobody could ever love.  I totally disagree.  First of all, it wasn't Tina Fey, it was Liz Lemon.  And Liz Lemon was actually a pretty disgusting person.   Let's face it, she shotguns whole pizzas, sleep-ate cigarettes and had several positive pregnancy tests because she was binge eating off-brand Cheetos called "Sabor de Soledad."   They didn't say she was ugly, she got the most handsome men - JON HAMM, in particular.  JON HAMM.  She was flawed, totally flawed, and I applaud Tina Fey for playing that character for so many years.  That very smart, talented, hard-working... and maybe a little bit unattractive (based on life choices) character.

And she wasn't the only great character, literally every character worked.  It was the perfect ensemble and everybody was different.  Somehow, it just worked. 

I'm glad the show had so many seasons, even when the ratings weren't great.  And even though they didn't get a FULL final season, I'm glad they were given one at all!  Because that last episode was really great and sweet and tied everything together beautifully.  And the best part of all was that even when it got sentimental and sad, they made sure to keep it funny - by having the tender moments happen in a strip club... or while Tracy and Jenna were both dressed as Hitler.  

I legitimately felt sad watching the final episode.  And happy.  Tears of happiness and sadness.  And then I ate a bunch of french fries, because you know what?  That's what Liz Lemon would do... and if you have a problem with that, I'll cut your face up so bad you'll have a chin.  YOU'LL ALL HAVE CHINS!

THAT'S A SERIES WRAP FOR LEO SPACEMAN. 

P.s. Tina Fey and I have the same birthday. 

Self- Depricating.

From Tina Fey's GQ article.

I read the GQ comedy issue at the beach this past weekend. And aside from the problematic fact that I love GQ and could see myself writing for it more than other magazine, I had a problem with something else. In the Mila Kunis interview, Mila {we're on a first name basis} said she liked Bossypants and the interviewer said that Tina Fey is "so clearly attractive and successful that I can't buy her self-deprecating stuff anymore." Here are my issues with that in numeric list form:

1. People aren’t only self-deprecating because they’re unattractive. There are literally THOUSANDS of other things to be self-conscious of or hate about yourself! A lot of the time, you’ll find that she makes fun of herself for being a bad person, or a mother who has no control over her kid, or her previous weird haircuts and strange relationships with older lesbians. What’s wrong with that? Some people are defensive about things they’re uncomfortable with and like to make fun of it before you can. Everyone does it. But just because she’s “pretty” doesn’t mean she can't find other things wrong with herself, or constantly be nice.
2. Tina Fey is not Liz Lemon. Liz Lemon is a character created by Tina Fey. And Liz Lemon is kind've a mess! She forfeits taking care of herself for taking care of everyone else around her and things like hygeine and personal relationships fall by the wayside. And Liz just admits to it. The other characters make fun of her and she makes fun of them. But, remember, that's Liz Lemon. Not Tina Fey.
3. Why is it OK for male comedians (jews) to be self-deprecating but not women? Unless, of course, they’re hideous, fat lesbians. They can be as self-deprecating as they want. But being “good looking” isn’t everything. {I know, only ugly girls say that! Am I right?!} Tina Fey didn’t enter this world to be a sexy actress; she wanted to be a writer and comedian. And she succeeded. But now everyone expects her to stop making jokes about herself and stop doing what EVERY WOMEN (AND MAN) DOES ALL THE TIME EVERY DAY? That’s how she got here, why should she stop doing it? It is literally why both her and "30 Rock" are successful. And also, say, Larry David and Woody Allen.
4. IT’S ALL JOKES. SHE’S NOT ASKING FOR YOU TO SAY “NO! YOU’RE NOT UGLY! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL.” SHE IS MAKING A JOKE. When I call myself a “sea monster,” I don’t actually legitimately think that I am a sea monster! I AM MAKING A JOKE.

All right. That's enough from this sea monster. I'm going back to my sewar drain to take a nap.

"Do Your Thing and Don't Care if They Like It"

 

As you can probably tell (I don't know how), I love Tina Fey. Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly improv-crazy, I pick up her book and read a chapter so that I can take a deep breath and realize that I'm not the only person who feels that way. I should also note that since it came out in April, I have had two copies of Bossypants because my dear friend Kelly ripped one up in her sleep. That's right. RIPPED IT UP. (I'm not mad, I think it's hilarious.)

I'd like to share this chapter titled "I Don't Care If You Like It (One in a series of love letters to Amy Poehler)." It's so great and wonderful. Not only do I love this chapter because it proves a really good point and paints a good example of how women in comedy should approach their comedy. It's also really great to see such a smart and hilarious performer praise and idolize another woman! So many wonderful things about this book. Read it, idiots.

I dedicate this excerpt to Kelly. Because she's my Amy Poehler! And... she cannot rip up this blog post in her sleep! I also want to let her know that she doesn't have to be appropriate all the time, and if anyone gives her shit... who fucking cares if they like it!

Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the seventeenth-floor writers’ room, waiting for the Wednesday read-through to start. There were always a lot of noisy “comedy bits” going on in that room. Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can’t remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and “unladylike.”

Jimmy Fallon, who was arguably the star of the show at the time, turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, “Stop that! It’s not cute! I don’t like it.”

Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. “I don’t fucking care if you like it.” Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit. (I should make it clear that Jimmy and Amy are very good friends and there was never any real beef between them. Insert penis joke here.)

With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it.

I was so happy. Weirdly, I remember thinking, “My friend is here! My friend is here!” Even though things had been going great for me at the show, with Amy there, I felt less alone.

I think of this whenever someone says to me, “Jerry Lewis says women aren’t funny.” or “Christopher Hitchens says women aren’t funny,” or “Rick Fenderman says women aren’t funny.... Do you have anything to say to that?”

Yes. We don’t fucking care if you like it.

I don’t say it out loud, of course, because Jerry Lewis is a great philanthropist, Hitchens is very sick, and the third guy I made up.

Unless one of these men is my boss, which none of them is, it’s irrelevant. My hat goes off to them. It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.

So my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

If the answer is yes, you have a more difficult road ahead of you. I suggest you model your strategy after the old Sesame Street film piece “Over! Under! Through!” (If you’re under forty, you might not remember this film. It taught the concepts of “over,” “under,” and “through” by filming toddlers crawling around in an abandoned construction site. They don’t show it anymore because someone has since realized that’s nuts.)

If your boss is a jerk, try to find someone above or around your boss who is not a jerk. If you’re lucky, your workplace will have a neutral proving ground - like the rifle range or the car sales total board or the SNL read-through. If so, focus on that.

Again, don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions. Go “Over! Under! Through!” and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares?

Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

Bossypants {!!!}

"My dream for the future is that sketch comedy shows become a gender-blind meritocracy of whoever is really the funniest. You might see four women and two men. You might see five men and a YouTube video of a kitten sneezing. Once we know we're really open to the options, we can proceed with Whatever's The Funniest... which will probably involve farts."

Tina Fey in Bossypants.

this book is making me so, so happy.

you know that constant feeling that you're NUTS? is that just me? well, i constantly going through life with this gut feeling that something's wrong and then i think i'm just crazy because nobody else seems to feel the same way. well, there it is. there you go. THIS BOOK IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY.

More Reason to Love Tina Fey

She has a new book coming out, Bossy Pants.

Her recent New Yorker essays are from that book.

I cannot wait to read it. Obviously. I'm a nerd.

But the best part about it are the Amazon reviews.

I mean... come on. I love this woman.

PRAISE FOR TINA FEY:

"You'd be really pretty if you lost weight." (College Boyfriend, 1990 )

"Tina Fey is an ugly, pear-shaped, overrated troll." (The Internet )

"Mommy, where are my pretzels?" (Tracy Morgan )

ADVANCE PRAISE FOR BOSSYPANTS:

"I hope that's not really the cover. That's really going to hurt sales." (Don Fey, Father of Tina Fey )

"Absolutely delicious!" (A Guy Who Eats Books )

"Totally worth it." (Trees )

"Do not print this glowing recommendation of Tina Fey's book until I've been dead a hundred years." (Mark Twain )

"Hilarious and insightful. Laugh-out-loud funny -- oh no, a full moon. No! Arrgh! Get away from me! Save yourself!" (A Guy Turning into a Werewolf )



Lessons from Late Night

Photo

Tina Fey has another article in the New Yorker this week, "Lessons from Late Night". It's very enjoyable. I'd link to it, but, it's the New Yorker and unless you have an account, then you can't read it in full. I'd find it somewhere on the internet for you - or type it out for you - but, there's a piece of glass in my foot.

She talks about her time on "SNL" and what she learned from Lorne Michaels. And then she talked about women in comedy and the differences between women and men and I was glad to see we have the same view! (Because some people's views vary and a lot of people are idiots.) Of course, I changed my view once I read what hers was.

Kidding?

Here were my favorite parts (out of many):

"You can't be the kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute. (And I'm from a generation in which a lot of people died on waterslides, so this was a very important lesson for me to learn.)" - on not overthinking what you're doing, just do it. Because the show went on at 11:30 whether anyone was ready or not.

"There is an actual difference between male and female comedy writers, and I'm going to reveal it now. The men urinate in cups. And sometimes jars... Not all men at "SNL" whizzed in cups. But four or five out of twenty did, so the men have to own that one. Anytime there's a bad female standup somewhere, some idiot Interblogger will deduce that 'women aren't funny'. Using the same math, I can deduce that male comedy writers piss in cups. Also, they like to pretend rape each other. It's... don't worry about it. It's harmless, actually."

"I realized there was no 'institutionalized sexism' at this place - sometimes guys just literally didn't know what we were talking about."

Update: I scanned and uploaded it to Google Docs. You can read the essay here.

Comedy Guru

So, last night I watched Tina Fey get the Mark Twain Award for American Humor. And I really don't know why I cried. Is there a reason to cry? She wasn't crying!

But, people were saying such nice things about her. And showing clips of everything she's done. And I just thought of Conan's last episode of "The Tonight Show" when he said, "Be kind and amazing things will happen to you." And honestly, look at him. And look at Tina Fey. Look at what these people have done and what they didn't do to get it {i.e. be assholes.}

She mentioned in her speech that she used to go to the Second City and sit on the bench and watch Steve Carrell in awe and she'd do improv with Amy Poehler and imagine the days when they'd be able to write and perform comedy professionally... and they did it! They did it! They moved to Chicago and they had these crazy dreams and they were successful and they opened tons of doors and it just means a lot.

It's like those intense yogis {not the bears} who have yoga gurus who they worship and respect and live by their mantras. Well that's what it felt like. It felt like I was watching my yoga guru. Except my yoga guru uses fake swear words like "nerds" and calls herself a "stone cold bitch". And that, my friends, is the kinda person I worship and respect.

"Beautiful Fey"

Hey, my name's Patty.

Click here to watch a Tina Fey extravaganza.

I love her I do.

I, Laughbot.

Yesterday during work, a co-worker who I’m pretty friendly with and who I joke around with all the time starting talking about a real situation I was having. He was being super nice and supportive and I was super appreciative, but I didn’t know how to deal with it.

So I dealt with it the way I deal with everything… jokes!

What is wrong with me? I have such a hard time being real with people. I think it’s partly because I’m just an uncomfortable person in general. But I hate that I base nearly every conversation I have on bits. Never mind conversations, relationships in general! There are probably 20 people I could name off the top of my head that I don’t know anything about who they are, but I share a joke with them. And every time we see each other, we go “Hey what’s up! Bit! Bit! Bit!” Then awkward pause. Then awkwardly walk away.

And I love bits. Don’t get me wrong. It’s all improvisers do. But I actually do consider some of them my best friends and know personal information about their lives, and have real conversations with them. But people who only do bits annoy me. And I’m one of those people. Therefore, I annoy myself.

There’s a Tina Fey quote (oh, brother…) that says, “I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity.” And that’s exactly what I do. I know people will like me if I make them laugh. So, I know I can form relationships with people simply by being funny. But they’re not substantial ones. I need to work on being a real human being.

Laughbot3000, out.

Open Letter to Jon Hamm

Hi Jon Hamm, it's me, your friend Patty.

No... I'm not your friend. But I do believe if we met, we'd be great friends.

No... we wouldn't.

Here's what I'd like to say to you:

I have two favorite things in life:

You and Television.

In the "Television" category falls two of my favorite TV shows in the history of television (and there were a lot of good ones to choose from, like "Reba" and "Cheers"),"30 Rock" and "Mad Men". You're in both of them! You're always in "Mad Men", but you probably know that. Sometimes you're in "30 Rock", and I can tell that it's not always necessary - but they bring you back because they like working with you. I like that about you.

I like working with you. (I've never worked with you.)

I like watching you work! For the following reasons: You're quite good-looking. You have a great bone structure, they don't make guys like you anymore. God must have spent a little more time on you. You play a convincing jerk! And a convincing sexy man. You're also very funny. I like that you're friends with Paul Rudd. I liked him in Clueless. I think you and Jack McBrayer should have a hilarious sitcom together. And... you have touched Tina Fey on the face.

There is nothing else I want to accomplish in this letter. 

Oh, I can't wait to kiss your face! When I meet you in Heaven.

Your love is like a river peaceful and deep,

Patricia Margaret Fork Barrett

Personal Heroes.

There are days, like today, where all I want to do is run away. I think of jump-starting my life, moving to a new city, experiencing new people and things. But I can't do that right now. I have responsibilities here that I literally can't leave. But, soon enough, I'll have to start my career. {Though I believe I'm on the right path.}

These two ladies make me feel better.

Did you know Tina Fey moved to Chicago after college and worked in a YMCA while taking classes at Second City. She said that when she was in classes, she would watch Steve Carrell in awe when he was on stage. Ultimately, she got to do what he did. And even later, have a super successful TV show that followed his super successful TV show. And even LATER, starred in a movie with him. If you want something bad enough, you'll get it. I just want to be Tina Fey. I don't know how feasible that one is.

Christina Hendricks said that as a child, she was a blonde, but it never felt right. She never felt herself. Then she dyed her hair red and all of a sudden, everything fit into place. Hm... where have I heard that before? ME. Yes, that only has to do with hair. What of it?

I want to get somewhere because I tried really hard to get there.

I can do anything when I put my mind to it {and I have before.}

Gotta get that mind rolling again...