Peeves.

photo.

Peeves is a poltergeist. In the Harry Potter world. Peeves are also annoying things. I think that's the technical definition.

Today is one of those days where everyone and everything is getting on my nerves. Nobody's particularly doing anything, but it's annoying nonetheless. And I'm not the only one. Everyone I've talked to is seemingly in a horrific mood. So, instead of beating it, I'm going to join it.

Things I hate:

- Loud chewing.

- Blisters.

- People who walk slow... specifically up stairs.

- The sound of high heels on a hardwood floor.

- Wanting attention but not getting it but not wanting to seek it, either. (This one is oddly specific.)

- Passive aggression.

- The response "yea" or "yeah" or "ye," although I have to admit I don't know many people who say "ye."

- Small talk with people I barely know.

- Dirty glasses and being too lazy to reach into your bag to get your cloth to clean them. (Again, specific.)

- Stomach aches.

- It being Friday at 2 and not Friday at 5:30.

- No Christmas trees year round.

- People who chew gum while improvising.

- The phrase, "This might be a stupid question..."

- Low battery iPod or phone battery.

- Overly defensive or argumentative people.

Tiny Hate Letters.

Maybe it's the fact that I didn't sleep well last night because I have a sunburn or that I'm just fed up with bullshit, but here are my little hate letters:

Dear lady who answered the phone at Flour Bakery, I don't need your passive aggressive bullshit or for you to make me feel stupid. I know how to look at a website and the content I needed WASN'T THERE. I make myself feel stupid enough, I don't need your help. GFY.

Dear UV Rays, you're a bunch of assholes. Don't you know you're burning people? You're really hurting us and it's very uncomfortable. Please, I beg you, stop.

Dear texting, do you understand what you've done to people? I can't have a normal conversation anymore. It's easy for me to communicate through carefully crafted text messages, but I have completely lost the ability to converse face to face. You make me dependent on alcohol. You're gross.

Dear Desk, clean yourself up. I'm tired of looking at you and feeling as though my whole life is in shambles because you can't get your act together. While we're at it, Room and Shelves... GET IT TOGETHER.

Dear Kyle, you're behind me right now loudly putting your mail in the outgoing mail bin. I can see your reflection in the glass door and I know you're there trying to bother me/get my attention. I refuse to turn around.

Dear ankles, why can't I walk 3ft without you giving out on me? Do you realize we've only been around for 25 years and you shouldn't be working so poorly ALREADY? But I do like that you don't blend in with my calves. You're great at that

Dear Christmas music on my iPod, GO AWAY. IT'S JULY, IDIOTS.

Dear Lubriderm.... we're cool.

Dear Mad Men, who on EARTH do you think you are coming back in 2012? Don't you understand you have loyal fans who dedicate their summers to anticipation for the first episode of a new season? Don't you understand I need fashion inspiration and to see what you're all up to?!? I HATE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

Okay, I think we're done here. Carry on with your lives, everyone.

Flea Market, Literally

From a post at Garance Doré that says, "So, here is what I got from the flea market. A lovely YSL silk scarf that I LOVE…"

It's just not fair!

If I go to any flea market here, all I get is a pair of fake Coach sunglasses and rabies.