Ode to My Red Hair

 

(that's almost ten years ago upon first dying my hair. yikes.)

Hi Red Hair, 

It's me, Patty.  Your friend.  It's been a while since we parted ways.  I drastically left you, but you still popped your brassy little strands up every now and then, right before I needed a dye job... and now you're gone for good.  (I think? I don't know. I'm being dramatic. You're not even a real person.) 

You came to me when I was going through a tough time in my life.  I was depressed, I didn't like myself, I was looking for a huge change.  So, red hair was my answer.  And taking improv classes.  You made me feel like the Patty I was supposed to be! (And, well, so did improv classes.) I was a brand new person! 

You stayed with me through many years and a lot of money and hair appointments.  You were bright and clownish and auburn and sultry and everything in between.  You were with me when I lost a bunch of weight, gained a ton of confidence, kissed boys, met great friends, bought too many dresses, drank too many drinks, auditioned for improv casts over and over, got rejected (and eventually made) improv casts over and over... you were a huge staple!  You helped form my identity.  "Who's Patty? That girl with red hair and glasses? Oh yeah, I know her. Kinda. Maybe. Eh, barely. Who are we talking about again? Do you like dinosaurs?" 

But now, our long relationship has ended.  I'm just a normal, regular, average, boring brunette girl with glasses... I don't stand out remotely in a crowd.  (Thankfully.)  I guess it was always destined to end at some point.  For one, you weren't fooling anyone.  For two, you were a god damn bitch to maintain.  But... I will always think of you fondly.  You helped me show my true colors.  But now, I've shown them too much and it's time to fade into the background, with a lot more confidence and security in myself. All thanks to you, red hair! (And, again, probably improv classes.)

P.s. I'll probably see you again.  I'm indecisive and whenever "Mad Men" comes back on, seeing Christina Hendricks makes me wish I was a red head again.  Or, maybe it's just wishing I was Christina Hendricks, I can't tell. So, until then! 

Goodbye To You (The Michelle Branch song), 

Patty

Red All Over.

I'm getting bored. Maybe I'll dye my hair red again.

Crimson Strands

Yesterday I got a haircut, and I talked to my stylist who has been dying my hair red for five years now. I said, "I think I want to become a brunette." And she said "I love your hair red, but you're also killing your hair. Every time you come in I have to dye the whole thing because red fades, so it's killing your hair. If you dyed it brown, it'd be better."

So, all day I adjusted to the fact that soon, my red hair would be gone. I told my friends, Evan and Cavan, and they said supportive things like, "No. I don't like it." and "De-friend me on Facebook and take me out of your phone."


I adjusted to the fact that I would no longer have red hair, or be friends with the VanBots {from now on, that is what I'm calling those two}.

But then I see pictures like this, and I fall in love with red hair all over again:

Woe is me.

Blonde to Red

natural hair color:

bsb 4 lyfe.

fake hair color

(for 5 years now)

Told you I was naturally blonde.

but i'm a much better red head.

:)

girls, girls, girls.

I need to have an intervention with myself.

Every time I see a magazine, and I read a lot of them, I rip out pictures of pretty girls. Mainly pretty girls that I like. Tina Fey, Christina Hendricks (see above)... ladies from ads who are wearing cute clothes.

I take said pictures of Tina Fey and Christina Hendricks (see above) and I put them on my wall. I mean, obviously. I love Tina Fey. She has some sexy pictures - but they're also goofy and funny. But Christina Hendricks, that girl is just hot. And that's why I like her. She's a hot red head. Today I searched for Esquire with her on the cover... and couldn't find it. I got aggravated.

I love you.

I *never* do  this with pictures of guys. In fact, if you asked me what guys I had crushes on... I don't think I'd come up with an answer for you right away. OK, well, Neil Patrick Harris. But he's gay! It doesn't count!

Also, the only guy I have on my wall is.... Michael Jackson.



My life is weird.