My 10 Year Drinking Anniversary

Today, around 4:00pm, I will be a 31-year-old woman.  

That means I have been legally able to drink for ten full years.  And I never took that right for granted for even one second!  My 21st birthday party was actually celebrated bar crawling around Boston in the pouring rain and wearing a black hoodie with jeans.  My life is a bit different now than it was ten years ago.  The biggest change, of course, being that I only own one pair of jeans and I’d never wear them on my birthday.

To be honest, I’m not even remotely afraid of aging.  I’ve got good genes on my side.  And even if I didn’t, I’ve watched enough Real Housewives episodes to know that if there’s one thing you can aggressively fight, besides your closest friends, it’s age.  And if living in Los Angeles has taught me anything, it’s that you should start with a smaller amount of injection units in your early twenties.  And get some lip fillers while you’re there.  

I haven’t though.  Not yet.  I have a couple of wrinkles, but I deserve them due to the way I have lived my life… laughing, repressing and excessively drinking through my problems.

I was reading through this old blog last night, reading words I’ve posted on past birthdays, and I realized that every single year I reflect on lessons I’ve learned.  And every year, they’re basically the same.  And every year, I prove myself wrong because while I have learned plenty of lessons, I don’t always do better the next time.

I’m a predictable work in progress.

What I can say is this:

Being in your thirties is much better than being in your twenties. I have far more confidence, way more fun and I even look better now than I did back then. Go figure. I’ve very much come into my own and I’m happy with who I am.  However…

Being in your thirties is much, much harder than being in your twenties. When you’re young, and stupid, there aren’t a ton of consequences. It’s kind of a designated “figuring shit out” time in your life. But in your thirties, the pressure is on. You can’t keep starting over (well, I guess you can, but it’s harder) and you can’t keep fucking up without severely screwing with your life.  

The past year or two has been really hard.  I don’t know where I want to live or what I want to do. I’m trying to figure all of that out while also battling heavy bouts of depression and anxiety.  But, that being said, these have also been really formative years for me. I’m dealing with things I don’t think I’d ever have been able to handle in my twenties. But here I am, handling them and growing from them with maturity.  Sometimes.

The past ten years of my life have been awesome, which is something I only realize right now at this moment and God dammit, it’d have been nice to know it was great while it was all happening.  I’ve made a lot of bad decisions and taken a lot of wrong turns.  I’ve fallen in love, gone through breakups, moved across the country, got a concussion and sprained my ankle at the same bar on two separate occasions and I’ve even tried a fried deviled egg and decided against partaking in that experience ever again.

And, fine, here are a few lessons learned:

Get a pet. Or a friend with a pet.

Exercise and eat healthy. At least every now and then.

Outsource annoying shit. For me, that’s hiring movers and not relying on friends/family. And also gel manicures because I can’t do my own nails and don’t have time to wait for drying.

Acquire less stuff. Clothes, knick knacks, furniture… Muppet stuffed animals.

Find your people. The ones with positive vibes who make you laugh, will drink after bad days with you and can put together a good cheese plate.

Live alone, or learn to be alone. Because alone time is the best.
Be true to yourself. Even if "yourself" is an introverted, creative, outgoing, procrastinating, Muppet-loving weirdo.

Thoughts on Getting Older and Wiser, Maybe

In two months, I am turning 29 years old. 

One of my best friends from high school already hit the 29 mark and when I sent my “Happy Birthday!” text, she responded that it was depressing.  I thought, “Yeah, we’re getting old and it’s weird.”  We graduated high school over ten years ago… and it feels awkward to look back and see what we have, or have not, accomplished.

But you know what I realized recently?  I fucking love getting older.

I’m happy when I look back on the last ten years of my life.  I see a lot of life-changing moments and career goals that were successfully pursued.  I see a lot of people that came in and out – and some that stayed and will stay forever.  I see a whole lot of performing and confidence gaining.  I see a successful move across the country.  I see quality time with great people.  I was lucky, and not so lucky, in love.  I see a lot of mistakes and lessons learned.  It really wasn’t a bad set of ten years.

I work with a lot of people who are younger than me and it’s eye opening when I talk to them about work or life.  I see a great amount of curiosity and general lack of confidence and fear of making mistakes.  There is trouble figuring out relationships and if they’re single, they think they’re going to be single forever.  I’m not saying I’m over all of those things, because I’m certainly not.  Twenty-nine is hardly an age full of wisdom and I know that I have plenty more mistakes to make and areas where I lack confidence.  But it’s nice to think that I’ve made my way over some of those humps and at least feel a confidence and resilience that I definitely didn’t have when I was fresh out of college.

I’m ready for the last year of my twenties!  I’m ready to keep on trying new things, challenging myself and trying even harder to be confident and carefree.  Also, I’m getting like a shit ton of grey hair and I don’t plan on covering them up with any hair dye!  (I will, however, just add more and more blonde streaks that make the greys less noticeable.)  

I'm not planning on losing all of my immaturity though.  I still love doing dumb things and having fun with my friends.  One of my favorite activities is PUTTING OFF MATURITY.  I can get married and have kids when I'm 100 years old!  Procrastinating on aging is the best way to procrastinate, in my opinion! 

And yet, here’s to getting older and wiser and spending less time trying to make other people happy and more time working on yourself.  Also, less time drinking during the day and ruining your evenings.  It seems like a good idea in the morning… but is it?  Not for me… not for me. 

Birthday Weekend of Fun!

Let me tell you about last weekend.  It was  one of those kind of weekends where you wake up for work on Monday and you feel deep sorrow (read: hit snooze repeatedly) that the weekend is actually over.  The type of weekend where you spent 72+ hours with someone and then you drive off to work and you already miss them because you had so much fun with them that weekend. (Awwww! Gross, I know.) 

On Friday night, after staying home from work and being sick all day long, I wolfed down some gourmet pizza (that's right, gourmet) and hopped in an Uber towards the train station so we could go downtown.  I’ve lived in L.A. for four months and have only been downtown once and it was during the day, so it was pretty cool to go at night and do the whole “hotel rooftop party” thing.  Also, downtown is kind of scary because it's where skid row is so, I'm glad we got to be around that at night.  We were at a comedy shorts film festival supporting our friend, Matt.  His short was awesome and so were a bunch of other ones!  It was a really entertaining film block and evening.  Plus, I made new friends! 

And wait for this... we stayed up until 3:30am.  RIGHT?!  Big time.  (As soon as we realized how late it was, we immediately went to bed because we felt crazy.)

I woke up on Saturday hungover and sick, but I forced myself to rally and get up because I didn’t want to waste a day.  I oil pulled, drank all the water and showered – my tried and true hangover remedies.  None of it worked and I still felt awful, but whatever, we went to the beach.  About an hour and a half south of Los Angeles is Newport and Crystal Cove, which is the most beautiful little beach and town.  It looks like it’s on the Mediterranean!  There are all these houses in hillsides, it’s like Positano, Italy.  We sat on the beach for a few hours and even though I put sun block on, I got burned to shit and my chest and nose are just nothing but pink.  And they hurt.  Also, my scalp is burnt.  That was uncomfortable while blow drying my hair.  

We went home, roasted a chicken, drank drinks and watched SNL and passed out.  Because that is how you do it.  

On Sunday we went to Disneyland!  I woke up and debated it all morning and then I thought, "What the F! I'm 28! Let's go to Disney!"  I used to go to Disney World all the time and I'm glad I got to see the original.  It was much smaller than the Magic Kingdom and it was fun.  Plus, the lines weren't awful.  The rides were fun.  And you know what?  It was a really great birthday weekend.  Maybe one of the best.  

I'm glad I spent most of the weekend exploring my new state.  I never get out of Los Angeles and it was awesome to jump on some freeways and explore new cities... especially when there was basically no traffic.  We lucked out.  Traffic is no joke here.  I underestimated it before moving here, that's for sure.  But it really, truly is the worst.  But it didn't hold me back or bring me down this weekend! 

This year is the first time I've had weekends in a long time... and they're really nice to have back in my life.  I love you, weekends.  Especially birthday ones.  See you next year!! 

Birthday Dress.

My favorite tradition that Myself and I have is buying a new dress for my birthday. I also started this new tradition last year of getting a tattoo on my birthday that I also enjoy. But, birthday dresses are so fun! Everyone should treat themselves on their birthday! Even if you're turning an age that doesn't matter. And even though you probably won't even have time to go out and celebrate. It's just a nice little thing to do for yourself, I say!

The criteria for a birthday dress should be "fun" "festive" and "you". I also say that! It should also be bought within your birthday month. And not two months before... so, I guess I have two months to wait. : )

we all know i love a dot!

i'd feel very Patty in this.

although it's a little too "sexyish". that's not very me!

this is also very me. green's my favorite color!

and it's festive and fun. 

dots! greenish! a winning combo.

and the bow would make me feel like fozzie bear.

you can't beat red! and birds.

i'm a bird. those sleeves though? not my style.

i like the silhouette and the fun colors of this one.

i'm... the worst.

Things to Love on a Monday: Birthday Week!

1. hot air balloons. i'm obsessed with them.

2. my breakfast/lunch basically every day.
ModCloth tumblr.

3. what an awesome, awesome picture.
The Sartorialist.

4. le petit prince {of pop.}
Time.

5. i think nautical dress.
{modcloth has the best names for its clothing.}

6. that cat looks TERRIFYING.
the pin up files.

7. red heads have way more fun.
A Cup of Jo.

8. i love these super gaudy earrings.

9. she rides above it.

10. mischief managed.

happy monday!
i'm turning 25 this week! yay!

Hip Birthday, My Dude.

Today is Ryan's birthday. He's 23! He's growing up right in front of my eyes. It seems like just two years ago he was turning 21! {According to Math, that's correct.} But now he's all graduated from college! And doing improv and internships and still not making any money! 

So raise your PBR's to Ryan! The most handsome hipster ever! We may fight like siblings, but I couldn't love you any more! You're my little brother and one of my best friends. Happy Birthday! You go girl! Get 'er done! That's gooooood.

P.s. YOU'RE GONNA LIVE FOREVERRRRR.