Tomato, Tomato.

we were very drunk in this picture.

Mary is just a small town girl, living in a lonely world, she takes the red line train back to Quincy, Mass. . .

Nope, that's a song. Mary is the new IT GIRL, guys!

I've been mentioning Mary a lot on this blog lately and that's because Mary and I are new life partners. We have lunch together every day since we work so close to each other and we hang out every weekend and we have to say goodnight to each other before either of us goes to sleep. No, that's not true. But it might as well be!

Guys, Mary is the best. You know how everyone has their one friend who is like SUPER funny? I'm that friend in a group of non-improvisers. Absolutely. {Kidding.} Well, Mary is the funny friend in a group of comedians. She's a comedian, too, but she cracks us up like no one else. And her status updates and tweets? The best:

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~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong black woman ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no man ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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and

"My recent Google searches; neti pot deaths, emergen-c nutrition facts, emergen-c side effects, side effect of a newborns to listing to lady gaga, lady gaga newborn costume, plus size lady gaga costume, lori beth denberg where are they now, lori beth denberg twitter, full episodes of figure it out, gak recipe, cinnabon recipe, cinnabon locations, fastest route to rockingham mall cinnabon, cinnabon nutritional facts, planet fitness quincy."

Today is her BIRTHDAY. Happy Birthday MARY! Thank you for being a friend! You're gonna make it AFTER ALL!

Hey, It's OK.

After drinking, I always get real down on myself. Lately I've been drinking more than usual due to parties/events/general awkwardness. And I don't have time to eat dinner because of rehearsal, so it means that things get rough. And I do or say some stupid things and there's nothing I hate more than presenting myself that way. I always feel terribly apologetic, even though nobody probably cares.

I was talking to Mary yesterday and I said, "I hate myself." And she said, "Don't! You had fun! And you only live once... and you do this every week. So you know that at some point everything becomes normal again." And that's true. I mean, I'm not the only one who gets drunk and feels bad about themselves because of it! I can't be perfect all the time! And trust me, I'm perfect every other time!

But I realized that that stuff doesn't really matter. {But of course I'll still feel bad about it and wallow in my own self-pity.} But there are great things in my life. Like, I have really good friends. The kind of friends who pick your broken teeth out of raisenettes {happened} and the kind who give you nicknames like "Crow Boob". And the kind of friends who put your headshot on the board behind their desk at work! Yeah! I'm important, people!