The Cost of Being A Woman

I am a woman!  Through and through.  Things happen once a month that assure me that yes, I am of the female persuasion.  (That's the ONLY thing that assures me... so all the other days of the month I am FREAKING. OUT.)  I also do things like cry while watching movies like "Sleepless in Seattle" and I text crazy things when I'm drunk and yes, I've done my fair share of cry eating. 

Despite these things, I enjoy being a woman!  I like having boobs and smaller hands.  But, I've learned over time that being a woman can get pretty expensive.  Now, I don't think women need to spend a lot of money to look good.  Nor do I believe they should wear make-up and dresses and high heels to appear "womanly."  But... what if you like that stuff?  Even if it's silly and outdated? (Yeah. I just quoted the movie "Zoolander.")

I get a manicure and pedicure once a month.  Sometimes twice if I'm really feeling stressed (or if it's just like... a day with an hour to kill.  Which seemingly happens a lot.) I dye my hair every 4-6 weeks.  I get my hair cut every two months.  I wear/buy a lot of dresses... sometimes I think, "I should get high quality dresses so I don't buy a ton of them and get a lot of use out of a really good one!" and then I do that.  Then I go to Target and buy 78 dresses that cost $18 each.  I buy bras from Victoria's Secret because let's face it, those models are damn sexy.  I am sucked in by products in the aisles of CVS that do things like "minimize pores" and "fade wrinkles" and "re-charge your skin batteries."  My shampoo and conditioner has to match... and my hair stylist convinced me that the pricier salon products actually do work better on your hair (which, of course, they have to say because they're trying to sell their shit.) 

I like to look good.  Or as good as I possibly can!  Being presentable (especially now that I do shows for hundreds of people a week. Hundreds!) is pretty important to me.  But, at what cost? It's pretty expensive!  And I don't have a well-paying job!  I've checked and I spend hundreds of dollars a month on stuff like this.  Hundreds.  And I only make hundreds of dollars a month!

So, do I give myself manicures and pedicures? (But it doesn't feel the same or last as long!)

Do I dye my hair back to its natural color so I don't have to dye it anymore? (DIRTY BLONDE IS UGLY!!)

Do I, god forbid, stop shopping for dresses? (Ugh!) 

No.  I suck it up.  I eat less food, drink less beverages, stop using my electricity, never leave my neighborhood - therefore I don't spend money to commute... because I'm a woman, god damnit.  And I'm going to look like one.  Thanks to my $60 shampoo and conditioner!