Being Happy.

 

dying hair and taking pics. makes me happy!

Happiness is not something that comes naturally with my genes.  I come from a family of depressed, anxious worriers.  It's not easy and it's not fun.  But, being happy is something that I actively work on.  I know that falling into pits of despair is very easy for me, so I have learned little ways to pick myself up.  

Even still, I'm anxious all the time.  Some days, I care what people think of me.  And I apologize way too much for nothing in particular.  For what?  Being myself?  We've all got our problems and nobody is happy all of the time (and if they are, they freak me out.)  Since high school, I have realized that admitting it and working on it is a whole lot better than being miserable and sitting around waiting for things to be better.  

I feel happier when I wake up and work out.  Being active and doing something and getting my brain moving makes me feel a lot better.  When I don't, and I just sit around, I feel lazy and guilty and awful about myself.  Why be stagnant when I could be active?  It settles my brain to just get up and do it, even when I'm lazy.  

I feel happier when I let myself take the time to get a coffee and read a magazine or read a book and not worry about what else I should be doing instead.  Reading magazines is my favorite.  The day I get my subscriptions in the mail is the best!  

I feel happier when I'm with friends (outside of work situations) and not gossiping.  A lot of Sunday nights, I go over to Kelly, Trevor, Mary and Bryan's and eat pizza and watch shows.  I'm sort of naturally a loner.  I like being alone... a lot.  But, I get so in my head sometimes and it's good to get myself out of the house to actually hang out with people and have conversations. (That, again, aren't at work or about work.)

I feel happier when I don't say "no" to something because it scares me or because it could be bad or because it's wrong.  I like taking chances and trying new things and being happily surprised. 

I feel happier when I'm pampering myself.  Which sounds so gross, but I do love it.  Getting my nails done!  My hair done!  Dying my hair!  The very rare occasion I get a massage!  The best.

I feel happier when I'm doing something that I'm passionate about.  Like this... right now.  Or decorating my room.  Or putting an outfit together.  Or writing sketches.  Or dancing.  

Maybe it doesn't last forever.  Maybe it's just five minutes.  But taking some time out of my super busy day of feeling sorry for myself to actively make myself happier is always a good idea.  Even if people think I'm corny and stupid.  Even if people want to talk about me because maybe I like doing my hair and taking pictures of it!  Even if there are a hundred things to worry about, like money or boys.  Being happy is important.  And it makes me less of a raging bitch!  Do it!