Thoughts on Getting Older and Wiser, Maybe

In two months, I am turning 29 years old. 

One of my best friends from high school already hit the 29 mark and when I sent my “Happy Birthday!” text, she responded that it was depressing.  I thought, “Yeah, we’re getting old and it’s weird.”  We graduated high school over ten years ago… and it feels awkward to look back and see what we have, or have not, accomplished.

But you know what I realized recently?  I fucking love getting older.

I’m happy when I look back on the last ten years of my life.  I see a lot of life-changing moments and career goals that were successfully pursued.  I see a lot of people that came in and out – and some that stayed and will stay forever.  I see a whole lot of performing and confidence gaining.  I see a successful move across the country.  I see quality time with great people.  I was lucky, and not so lucky, in love.  I see a lot of mistakes and lessons learned.  It really wasn’t a bad set of ten years.

I work with a lot of people who are younger than me and it’s eye opening when I talk to them about work or life.  I see a great amount of curiosity and general lack of confidence and fear of making mistakes.  There is trouble figuring out relationships and if they’re single, they think they’re going to be single forever.  I’m not saying I’m over all of those things, because I’m certainly not.  Twenty-nine is hardly an age full of wisdom and I know that I have plenty more mistakes to make and areas where I lack confidence.  But it’s nice to think that I’ve made my way over some of those humps and at least feel a confidence and resilience that I definitely didn’t have when I was fresh out of college.

I’m ready for the last year of my twenties!  I’m ready to keep on trying new things, challenging myself and trying even harder to be confident and carefree.  Also, I’m getting like a shit ton of grey hair and I don’t plan on covering them up with any hair dye!  (I will, however, just add more and more blonde streaks that make the greys less noticeable.)  

I'm not planning on losing all of my immaturity though.  I still love doing dumb things and having fun with my friends.  One of my favorite activities is PUTTING OFF MATURITY.  I can get married and have kids when I'm 100 years old!  Procrastinating on aging is the best way to procrastinate, in my opinion! 

And yet, here’s to getting older and wiser and spending less time trying to make other people happy and more time working on yourself.  Also, less time drinking during the day and ruining your evenings.  It seems like a good idea in the morning… but is it?  Not for me… not for me. 

Preparing for Old Womanhood

While flipping through this month's Glamour, I read an article on breast cancer.  Did you know everything increases your chance for breast cancer? Drinking, eating bad food, SIMPLY JUST BEING A WOMAN.  Man.

Lately, the idea of growing old has terrified me.  I have no issue with age, and I love growing up and all the fun (and terrible) stuff that comes with it.  But, I have bad bones now... and I think of what they're going to be like in ten, twenty, FIFTY years and I get really scared.  At this rate, I'll be in a wheelchair by the time I'm 40.

So, like any sane 26 year old... I'm starting to prepare.  How, you ask?  Here is my plan, feel free to prepare with me.  Want to have a Preparing For Old Age party?

Apparently, 5 hours a week of exercise (even just brisk walking) decreases your chance of a whole lot of things.  Breast cancer, other cancers, heart attacks, never finding love, etc.  I've been going jog walking every day (that's when mostly you walk but every now and then you jog, but hate it, so you go back to walking.) (Also, "every day" means like the past three days.)

Vitamins. Vitamin D for my terrible bones and a multi-vitamin for my terrible everything else.

I cut out soda (except on special occasions... like "going to the movies" or "having a weird day.")  Yes, even though diet soda has no calories or fat and just a shit ton of sodium... I just, I don't know, cut it out.  I should be drinking more water anyway.  And when you close your eyes really tight and drink it, it tastes a whole lot like... no, it still tastes like iced cold nothing.

I moisturize my face.  First, I wash it.  Then, I remove the raccoon eyes.  Then, I use toner stuff!  The stuff that burns and removes all the dirt from your pores and makes you feel gross!  Then, I moisturize my face and neck.  I'm steps away from purchasing fancy eye cream.  I laugh a lot... like when I'm having fun with my friends, which is something I love to do... so, I just don't want wrinkles for days.

I'm attempting a drinking fast.   I don't like beer that much.  But it's cheap(er).  So, I try to go the healthy route and drink white wine or vodka.  Then I black out.  And do stupid things.  (Like sprain my ankle or text people rude things.)  So, I guess the alternative is to give it up all together.  Or, moderation.  But let's face it... moderation is the worst.

I'm (working on) cutting out red meat.  But, the problem is... I love steak.  Fuck, I love steak.  Maybe it'll be one of those "every six months" type of things.  Or, every time my dog dies or something.  (I had a dog. He died.)

I don't know.  That's it.  Maybe I should do things like not plan and see what happens, but...  I'll never stop being afraid of being old.  Old Patty seems awful.  I want to be Young Patty, who moves like an old woman, forever!