Your Company's Holiday Party

 The holidays are here!  What better way to celebrate than by spending time with all the people you hold near and dear to your heart... and co-workers!

Despite the fact that I'm almost completely socially inept, I do enjoy holiday parties.  But that's mostly because I like Christmas music and open bars.  And wearing sparkly dresses. However, it's difficult to practice restraint in an open bar situation when you're basically poor and could never afford a night out in a fancy establishment with non-stop drinks otherwise.  

I have messed up quite a few times.  I have drank all the wine until I got so drunk and angry that I threw my last glass of wine at the floor.  That's right, AT the floor.  I have done splits in short, sparkly skirts.  I have sang karaoke with a group of girls, ultimately stealing the microphone completely because I was really feeling a Spice Girls song.  I have told people the truth.  The bad, drunk kind of truth.   

So, while I thoroughly believe you should go out and make your own mistakes to hopefully learn from - here are some tips on how to behave at your company's holiday party - and some interesting information on holiday parties in general from the folks over at TinyPrints! (Such as 75% improved office friendships, errybody!) 

5 Non-Christmas Classics To Watch This Holiday Season

If you've been in my apartment since two weeks before Thanksgiving, if you are the recipient of one of my countdown to Christmas texts (starting in triple digits) or even if you've brushed past me on a sidewalk… you know that I love Christmas time.  I force Christmas cheer on my naturally anxious and depressed self.  I start way before Christmas season and have been known to end in February.   

Every year, I do what I can to get in the spirit and more often than not that involves movies.  However, Netflix's supply of Christmas movies is… bare.  You have some pretty decent options: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Love Actually, Muppet Christmas Carol, White Christmas, CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS. But those aren't the ones I want to talk about. 

Here are five NON-Christmas classics on Netflix for you to enjoy - and quite possibly cringe during - this Christmas season. 

1. 12 Dates of Christmas.  (Out of all the ABC Family Original Christmas movies, this is actually my favorite.)

The cast: Amy Smart and Zack Morris. 

The plot: Amy Smart wants to get back together with her ex-boyfriend this Christmas.  She calls him, tricks him into coming over because she wants to "see their dog" and oh yeah, she bought him a gift.  She faints in a department store and wakes up in a busted up version of the movie, Groundhog Day.  Her ex-boyfriend is dating someone else, her mother is dead, her father is re-married, the stepmother sets her up on a blind date, his wife is dead, the date goes poorly because Amy Smart is terrible… and she wakes up in the same day every day until she rights all of her wrongs and makes everyone else in her world happy.  Including, but not limited to: befriending an eccentric and lonely neighbor, forcing a random guy in a park to propose to his girlfriend and stalking a runaway orphan until ultimately giving him a puppy that he most likely will not be able to take care of.  

2. The Mistle-Tones! (Yes, exclamation point included.) 

The cast: Tia (or Tamera) (or Taj) Mowry, Tori Spelling.  

The plot: A Mowry Sister desperately wants to join local and popular Christmas singing group, The Snow Belles. (Do those exist?!) Her mother started the group when she was younger (and yes, her mother is now deceased - I'm sensing a theme in ABC Family movies) and Mowry has been waiting FOREVER for an opening so she can join and sing at the mall on Christmas Eve.  Shit happens, she doesn't get in.  Her boss is a dick.  She convinces Santa (the mall version) to make it a competition to see who gets to perform at the mall on Christmas Eve.  She starts her own group with a bunch of misfit co-workers… and everything goes right until it goes wrong until it goes right and she finds out her dick of a boss SINGS LIKE REALLY WELL and he helps the group nail their vocal arrangements and corresponding dance moves. Then he gets a call to move to like Thailand or something, right as he and Mowry #1 were falling in love. They do not win the competition and there's still a happy ending. All in all, Tori Spelling is SERIOUSLY terrible at acting.

Oh, and Carl Winslow is in it. 

3. While You Were Sleeping.  

The cast: Sandra Bullock, Bill Pullman, Sandy Cohen (from The O.C.) and the mother from Mary Poppins… among others. 

The plot: Arguably not a Christmas movie, but it takes place at Christmas time.  Sandra Bullock takes tokens at a train station (what an old timey job that is!) and is in loooove with a guy she sees everyday.  He has large eyebrows.  He is Sandy Cohen.  He falls on a train platform, she saves him, he conveniently slips into a coma.  She pretends she's engaged to him so she can go in the hospital with him… but then his family arrives and she lies to them and says they were engaged.  They all believe her, and fall in love with her - but Bill Pullman doesn't believe her and falls in love with her IN A DIFFERENT WAY.  She spends all her time with his family (so creepy) and hangs out with Bill Pullman every single day despite him constantly trying to catch her in traps while simultaneously flirting with his possible sister-in-law.  Sandy Cohen comes out of his coma, remembers everything else about his life EXCEPT Sandy B.  He agrees to marry her anyway (what?) and she finally admits the truth on the altar.  But she fell in love with the family.  And she cries.  And then, in my favorite movie moment ever, she's back at work, collecting tokens… and an engagement ring comes through the little token window.  It's the entire family.  And Bill Pullman.  Asking her to marry him/them.

It is very icy outside through the entire movie. That constitutes a Christmas movie.  Plus, Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman have great chemistry - even more than Sandra and Keanu. (Go ahead and argue with me, I dare you!)

4. Holiday in Handcuffs. 

The cast: Melissa Joan Hart, A.C. Slater. 

The plot: What do you think?  Melissa Joan Hart needs to bring a guy home for Christmas because she has NAGGING parents and she's a lonely, single woman.  Instead of asking a nice friend, or admitting the truth to her family, SHE KIDNAPS A HUMAN BEING and FORCES HIM TO VISIT HER FAMILY WITH HER.  It's like she didn't even know he was a wrestling champion!  There's fighting, awkward forced kissing by the family and accidental enjoyment by both parties.  Upon realizing she's in love with him, and that her victim is kind of an okay guy, she lets him go.  But he comes back.  They always do.  And they get married… or just start dating… I don't know, let's face it, the movie is horrible. 

The weirdest part? There is ANOTHER ABC Family movie titled My Fake Fiance that has the same exact plot and also stars Melissa Joan Hart.  Everything is terrible. 

5. Snowglobe. 

The cast: Christina Milian. 

The plot: Shit goes down in a snow globe.  

Yes, Christina Milian gets transported into a snow globe.  It's everything you want it to be and less.  Snow globe people are WEIRD. 

There you have it.  If you're in the mood, feel free to tear through every single ABC Family Christmas movie… I certainly have!  Or you could turn the Hallmark channel on literally any hour of the day, they play Christmas movies every single hour.  They're all terrible and they all have similar plot lines. But, you know what?  They do the trick.  And some nights, you're just not interested in investing in a top quality classic… you just want a quickie with a second-rate Christmas story. 

That's what I do best. 

Things to Love on a Monday (Christmas time!)

 1. a gingerbread brownstone!

oh, carrie bradshaw would love this!

2. a Christmas treat box.

3. and an adorable shadow box from You Are My Fave.

4. i love these decorations!

i wish i had a fireplace with candles in it!

5. beautiful christmas nails.

 

6. Kate Spade bow earrings would make your cute little ears look like presents. 

7. a great casual Christmas outfit for shopping.

and the cutest little dog reindeer.

A Beautiful Mess.

8. guys, those reindeer are going to eat that whole cake.

9. this advent calendar looks fun.  

i imagine there are a lot of fun motivational notes inside of those envelopes.

or fun activities to do.

i'm going to steal a family.

10. a handsome sleeping bear. it's hibernating time!

happy monday!

i'm working all week at my old job! i'm sitting at my old desk!

man, i'm happy about it.
{though my body picked the worst week to get sick.
THE ONE WEEK i actually have to be somewhere. dumb body.}

Gifts for the Ladies, Strictly for the Ladies.

Ladies, fellas, Casey... I'm a girl.  Just so you know!  And I know a thing or two about girls.  I might be a boy in a lot of ways, but more often than not I'm a total girl.  And I'm going to share you a trick or two about things girls:

a) like 

b) want

c) don't know they like, but will

d) don't know they want, but do

So get creative this year!  Buy your friends a gift and not a gift card.  Buy your girlfriend something she'll like and it'll make her think you listen to her or even worse, care about her.  Just do the damn thing! 

1. A curling WAND.  That's right!  That's not a regular curling iron, it's a WAND!  A Remington Pearl and it's $20. And pink!  And it comes with a heat resistant glove because it gets REALLY hot.  But it's easy to master and it gives a gal very quick volume and beachy waves.  I'm talking very quick... and involves little (to zero) hairspray.  (i don't use any.)  It's a game changer. 

2. A Clarisonic Mia.  This is pricier, about $100.  But it's great.  I got one for Christmas a couple of years ago.  You basically just wash your face like you normally would (or should) but use this to blend into the skin instead of your hands.  It has a timer and takes 1-2 minutes but it cleans REALLY deep and it feels like you got a facial every time you use it.  Yay for clean skin! 

3. Something leopard print, like these loafers. They're everywhere, but these are $50.  Because leopard is a neutral, my friends.   It goes with mostly everything and it's fun to wear.  I have these shoes and a pair of heels, a leopard print scarf, an iPhone case, two dresses... and I might have a problem. 

4. Make-up palettes. This one is from e.l.f and costs $8.  What do girls love most?  Options.  And change, immediate change!  (If you want pricier ones with cuter packaging and more options, Benefit always makes me smile.) 

 5. An iPhone stand. $8. For watching Netflix or... taking pictures of yourself on Instagram.  Maybe just that second part.  ; )   

 

6. Boi-ing.  Industrial strength concealer.  $20.  It lasts a long time and it's the best concealer out there.  I don't use anything else (foundation wise)... just this. 

 7. Mad Men Season One. (Or the whole series so far.) The 1960's are hot. It makes any woman want to dress better and be subservient to their significant others.  And also drool over Don Draper.  

 8. French Martini ingredients. They're delicious.  Chambord, vodka, pineapple juice.  Throw it in a nice basket or something. Or buy a couple of mason jars, they're cheap and "trendy."  And girls love to drink! Right? Right?!?!

9. Framed affordable artwork.  I love art but a lot of times I think that it's too frivolous a thing to buy. But, it's pretty cheap and there are a lot of prints to find that are personal to certain people.  I like typography and stuff like this.  ($25)  But, there are also illustrations like Nan Lawson.  Or Society6 or 20x200 which has a ton of affordable art.

10. A bullet for $16. I don't know.  Maybe you're close and your friend needs to unwind a little bit?

It's A Very Netflix Christmas

This Christmas season, I have been trying to get more in the holiday spirit.  That means putting some Christmas lights around my bookcase and since I don't have space for a tree, decorating my owl (that Casey and Matt got for me), lighting a pine-scented candle and watching Christmas movies.  But... Netflix doesn't have many options.  They're all really shitty ones!  So, I've been watching some ABC Family duds.  Man, they're bad.  They're so corny and bad.

But, I'm going to watch them anyway.  And I'm going to share it with you just how bad and poorly-written they are.  They're predictable, they make women look horrible and god damnit if they're not still enjoyable.  Someone hire me as a writer for one of these movies, please!  

So, here's my live bog / review of "Desperately Seeking Santa" starring Nick Zano and Laura Vandervoort, two people I have never heard of.  It aired on ABC Family's "25 Days of Christmas" in 2011.  And... it's... awful. Follow the jump to see!

Hipster Wish List.

On Sunday, I went to brunch with my sister and dear friend, Janine.  We went to The Friendly Toast, which is undeniably a "hipster" place to eat.  There's a ton of plaid and glasses and tattoos and kitschy memorabilia.  I love it!  Janine, on the other hand, felt like she wasn't cool enough or something.  Although she loved the food and playing the game, "Who's Not A Hipster."  She kept saying it was obvious who was only there because they had hipster friends... just like her.  Which isn't true!  But, whatever.

She's not entirely wrong.  I do tend to dress like a hipster.  Sometimes I even walk, talk and act like one. Eh, not really.  I like dumb things too much.  (Like the Selena Gomez song, "I Love You Like A Love Song.")  But, I am guilty of having certain things like... vintage pin-up posters and a record player and plaid shirts and bangs and way oversized glasses.  So, I'll embrace the part of the culture that I do like and share my hipster wish list.

Lisa Frank stationary kit. $14
i'd send so many obnoxious notes!

a Holga lens camera iphone case, $30.
obviously!! 

glow in the dark stars, $8.
not really. but how nostalgic! and super cute when boys are over.*
*if that were to ever happen.  i have too many stairs.**
**that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it.

keyboard sticker decals, $18.
those i actually do want.  starbucks people would think I'm so cool!

 and yes, i want this crazy iPod speaker! for $130!
(it would take up my whole apartment.)

a sick and merry christmas.

 this christmas, santa gave me the flu. or just a cold. whatever he gave me, it's annoying. but i guess there's no better place to be sick than home. mainly because i get waited on and whatever i want brought to me at any time. mainly tea. and tissues. and cute kisses from my nosy dog.

i had a very nice christmas. there's really nothing to complain about right now... which is a great feeling. i have amazing friends and family... and everything's just going really well in every department. things will never be perfect, but they're as good as can be right now. for that, i'm grateful and happy.

maybe it's just the re-watching of "it's a wonderful life" that has put me in the spirit, but nonetheless, the spirit is there. and i thought of what all of your lives would be like without me, and frankly, things would be grim.

god bless us, everyone.

p.s. i love you.   {casey, you know the rest.}

Friendmas.

Last night, we had our first annual Friendmas. It wasn't planned... nor did anybody call it "Friendmas" aside from me. But, still, I'm officially making it an annual thing because it was so great and it actually put me in the holiday spirit. I love my friends.

Mary, Shalyn and I drove out to Brookline with bags of groceries and holiday-flavored beer. We all sat around a yule log on the TV and listened to Christmas music on Bryan's iPod (which feautured one terrible song that randomly had a techno beat start halfway through... that sounded like farts) and we ate kielbasa covered in brown sugar, brie with red pepper jelly in puff pastry (my favorite thing in the world) and A CHRISTMAS HAM with caesar salad, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole and crescent rolls (thank you, Marty and Trevor.) We had never, ever done anything like that. And by that I mean, we never, ever act like adults.

After hearing some terrible news that our good friend's mother passed away, we were in a pretty somber mood. So, it was nice to be with each other and appreciate each other's company... and good things in life. Like ham. And Trevor in a captain's hat. And fartmas music. And Don Rickle's memoir.

my wish list.

I'm excited for Christmas at this point because I will get to sleep in for four straight days. FOUR. DAYS. That's huge. But, sure, I'm also excited for my friends being in town and holiday sips and Christmas movies and day drinking. But, it really wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't spend my days dreaming of material things. Here's my wish list of material things:

1. Hunter boots, $125.

2. Betsey Johnson leopard-lined parka, $116

3. Crosley mini turntable, $75.

4. Warby Parker glasses, $95.

5. The Great Muppet Caper, $12.

Holiday Dressing.

Since the holidays are coming up (I've already watched "Elf" once and listened to "A Very She and Him Christmas" a dozen times), I've been thinking a lot of what to wear. I'm a sucker for holiday dressing. Give me a party to go to, and I will dress the part! My work has a holiday party, and the past two years I've come up with a theme. It's the most fun I've ever had... in my life. (I'm NOT kidding. I hate ALL of my friends and my IMPROV SHOWS.)

So, here are some dresses I've found in all of my perusing. They're all under $100. At the very least, Casey will benefit from this. He loves dressing up for holiday parties. {He's also the only person who reads my blog. Hi Casey!}

fossil, $88.

fossil, $88.

american eagle, $50.

{i have a bit of a thing for emerald.}

modcloth, $92

{because who doesn't want to look like liza minelli?}

urban outfitters, $75.

white {post} christmas.

Boston was hit with a blizzard the day after Christmas.

Here's my neighborhood covered in snow!

 

 

christmas photographer.

more shots from Christmas with my new Canon Rebel.

excited to take more pictures... of pets. toys. and trees.

Awkward Compliment Christmas

Wednesday night, we had our annual Awkward Compliment Christmas dinner party. Here are some pictures.  

Things not included in pictures: various shots of homemade limoncello (or matdancello, as I call it), our Yankee Swap which won us an assortment of random gifts (I got a light saber, naturally), Mat Dann taking Cashew for a walk and us re-arranging all of his furniture while he was gone and finally, turning all the lights off and Mark reading us excerpts from "Big Black Butts" as if he were reading "A Night Before Christmas".

 AC cookies by Jenna Webster! "Steak Tip" is a character that commonly comes out in scenes. "Turkey banner" is an obnoxious phrase that Mat Dann says all the time. And every Thursday, after our shows, we order jalapeno poppers and record a video of us eating them and then send it to Matt in LA. "Patty" "Matt" "Mark" "Ryan" "Mat" "Casey" and "Brian" are our names. Just in case(y) you were wondering.

 

How adorable is Cashew? So adorable he has to be killed!

I mean, look at him. He is so cute! Resting his arm on the arm rest! He's like a muppet.

And here is the present DiBello (and Natalie, his wife) bought all of us:

Merry Christmas from Awkward Compliment!